I Love Parchment
by funsize
Summary: KBOW. One boring night in the Gryffindor Common room. One spare bit of parchment. Two lonely souls. What could possibly happen next? oneshot.


**I Love Parchment**

**A/N: This is just an idea I had whilst writing my slightly longer KBOW fic. It's not really anything special but I had to write it, and you know how things are when you have to write them. Reviews would be appreciated :)**

**Funsize.**

* * *

_Italics – Katie_

**Bold - Oliver**

One boring night in the Gryffindor Common room. One spare bit of parchment. Two lonely souls. What could possibly happen next?

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**What are you doing? You look bored…**

_Bored is an understatement. You are so lucky you dropped Divination. Trelawney is making us keep this stupid 'Dream Diary' for an entire month._

'**Dream Diary' eh? Got anything I'd find interesting ;)**

_Don't be disgusting Oliver. As a matter of fact my dreams are all extremely clean and boring actually._

**Really? I bet I could find some hidden meanings in your dreams that are a lot less boring than you think. Hit me with one.**

_Well…okay, the other night I had a dream that I wanted to eat pancakes for breakfast but you told me I was only allowed dry toast because I was getting fat. Analyse that. _

**I called you fat? Obviously that was code for me saying that I like how you're growing your hair. It looks quite pretty right now.**

_Huh. Don't think you can butter me up with compliments Wood. You hurt me with that comment you know._

**Don't blame me for your dreams. Got any others?**

_Erm, I had a dream last week that we were playing Quidditch and I was trying to score a goal, but the Quaffle suddenly inflated and got stuck in the hoop, and then you gave me a month's detentions with Professor Snape._

**I did what? But I think this Quaffle might be symbolic of your inability to 'score' Katie. Having trouble in the love department lately?**

_OLIVER! Since when has my love life interested you? But I guess you're right, it has been a little problematic lately…_

**Why? Got any boys giving you trouble? Because I could always charm a few Bludgers to follow them around for the day…**

_No, but thanks for the offer. My problems are more to do with lack of interest than too much interest. _

**Oh. That surprises me. Don't see what type of idiot wouldn't be interested in my pretty Chaser. But maybe another dream might clear things up?**

_Right. Well actually, last night I had this rather interesting dream._

**Oh yes?**

_Well, you told me that you needed to speak with me urgently after a Quidditch practice._

**I'm featuring a lot in your dreams, aren't I?**

_And I thought I was going to be kicked off the team._

**Now why would I do that? I suspect I just wanted to tell you what pretty eyes you had, didn't I?**

_Well…_

**Ahah! It was a dirty dream, wasn't it!**

_NO!_

**Well then, what did I want to say to you?**

_Actually, I'm feeling kind of tired, I might go to bed now—_

**No, you're not getting out of this one, Katiekins. What did I say?**

…

**Katie.**

_Erm, well, you told me you were going to have to drop me from the team…_

**I did what! Why?**

_Well, you said that you couldn't have…_

**Yes…**

_You said you couldn't have any distractions on the team._

**Oh, I did, did I? And did I mention why I found you to be a distraction?**

_Oh Merlin, Oliver, don't do this to me._

**Why were you distracting me Katie?**

_Well, you know…I think even you can figure that one out for yourself Oliver._

**Is it because I fancy your pants off?**

_Don't you mean 'fancied'? In the dream?_

**What did you say once I told you?**

_Well, there wasn't really much talking done after that, if you get what I mean._

**I knew it! It was a dirty dream!**

_Oliver do you always have to ruin the moment?_

**Moment? We were having a moment? I'm so sorry, I didn't know. You should tell me these things Katie.**

_You know what? I'm going to bed. Goodnight Oliver._

**Wait. I've got something I want to say to you Katie Bell.**

_What?_

**Katie.**

_Yes?_

**I fancy you.**

_You – you what?_

**Katie Bell, I fancy you. And I quite enjoy being such a fundamental part of your nightly entertainment. **

_Oh, now you're just making fun of me, aren't you?_

**Wouldn't dream of it. You'd beat me up and stuff me into a broom closet.**

_Well, there is a broom closet nearby…_

**Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?**

_Of course not. Inter-team relationships are strictly forbidden, are they not?_

**Hmm, I suppose we could make an exception…**

_We could, could we?_

**Well, if I fancy you, and you fancy me, and you're having dirty dreams about me, and I'm having dirty dreams about you, it will only ruin our game if we're both moping around because we can't be together.**

_I guess – hang on, you've been having dirty dreams about me?_

**Oh you know, nothing half as bad as yours. But it really would make me happier if you'd join me on that trip to the broom closet.**

_But…this 'Dream Diary'…_

**Never mind, old Trelawney's always had a soft spot for me. Just tell her you're head-over-heels in love with me and she'll let you off without a word.**

_Well, when you put it like that…hang on, I'll just pack this stuff up._

**Ahh, okay, well, don't mind if I just take this old bit of parchment, alright?**

_Why do you want my parchment Oliver? It's not like you've confessed your undying love for me on it._

**I er…well, I…**

_Oh, well NOW you have!_

**I've done no such thing!**

_You're such a girl, Oliver. I'm not sure I want to be stuffing you into any broom closets anymore._

**As if. Anyway, the reason I wanted this piece of parchment is because, well, I love parchment.**

_Me too. _

**Actually, it's really only this piece of parchment that I love.**

_Well in that case, perhaps we should take it with us to the broom closet?_

**Now, there's an idea!**

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**A/N: Ahh, what an idea! What did you think? Review please? I need them like I need oxygen...**


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